My Bubble

10:31

It's crazy to think the last time I updated this blog I was excited for Germany! Now I'm home and missing those people like I don't even know how to describe it. Those people are my family. They are irreplacable. It was pure joy while I was there.

Once I've came home, however, insued the drama. My dad ended up having a triple bypass. I got home on monday night, was told tuesday morning, and he went into surgery on wednesday. Talk about insane huh? I was clueless. I'm glad they didn't tell me though, as selfish as that is, because that would've truly ruined the trip. I mean my now ex best friend ending our friendship the night before I left didn't ruin that. It truly made my life. If I could hop the next plane to Germany I would. There would be no second guessing myself.

My life has been chaos. True and utter chaos. I need peace. I want to go back into that bubble I had in Germany. There was no drama. I despise drama. How do you stop following someone?

Germany!

9:50

I've come to realize its been almost a month since I've last blogged so here I am. My mom's started nursing school so I get the car four nights a week automatically. Not that I take advantage or anything. *cough cough*

I leave for Germany on Friday! I'm beyond excited. I've been waiting for months and months to go and it's almost here. This is going to be my fun times that also involves relaxing and some German culture if you know what I mean. I also can't wait to see all of my Germans! I miss them so much. Some of us are like sisters and we are going to be each others godparents of our future children. It's going to be marvelous.

Right now I've kind of gotten frustrated. I've been working like 24/7 this weekend so I'm exhausted (kitchen jobs are hard work). Plus I've just gotten frustrated in life period. I've gotten yelled at twice last night and neither for good reasons plus whenever I voice my thoughts and emotions it seems as if people get so defensive and aren't even listening. What am I to do?

That's Life

8:46

I know that life's not fair but today just proves it. I set up almost everything for my rummage sale when my sister comes out and says that we should split the profit. Tell me how that makes sense? The only thing she had done was help me bring up a table that I couldn't lift by myself. I got so angry.

I got my driver's license but all I've been doing is taking my sister place to place. Do I get a thank you? Nope. That's life.

My hopes go out to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. This is why I'm against off shore drilling.

Shakespeare

4:52

I'm learning the hard way about procrastination. So I did a suck up research paper topic of the authorship of William Shakespeare. Definitely keep forgeting to work on it and almost all of our topics are due tomorrow and hmm the websites she's requiring us to use aren't working from my laptop. Lovely. Guess I'll be fibbing or being like i had everything tabbed but the website was down when I went to print them. Hate not having my homework done...

Birthdays

3:17

The month of April is an insane birthday month in our house. 3 of us are within 16 days of each other. Mine happens to be the last one and this year I'm turning sixteen! I'm so excited.

My life has gotten better along with the weather. It's interesting how my mood differs with the weather. When it's warm I'm happy. When it's cold I'm crabby. Am I the only one? Probably not.

How life changes. It's almost a year since my best friend and I became friends and how much life has changed. I've ended up in therapy, she's moved, my parents are on the brink of divorce, her's did, I re-injured my knee, and, well, there's so much to list! Truly the question is where does the time go? It seems like yesterday I started middle school and here I am about to become an upperclassman with my driver's license. It's insane!

As the schoool year is coming closer, there would definitely be some things I wish I hadn't said, some events I wish hadn't come, but this year has been a trial, and I'm only stronger because of it.

Views on the Catholic Religion

12:42

I've been adament on my refusal with the Catholic church for months, but now it's holy week and my mom told me that if I go to a friend's house on Saturday night I have to be home in time for church on Sunday. I flipped. They all of a sudden tell me that despite my personal beliefs, I'm going to be forced to go. It took my dad to come to the realization I don't believe in the Catholic church til I ate meat on Friday. Can they truly be that naive? I've only said no to the Catholic church for how long? It's not going to change overnight. My mother all of a sudden is all Catholic despite what she normally says of how she hates it. I'm going to stand by what I believe even if that means walking out.

Mood Crushing Friends

6:22

{If you speak three languages, you're trilingual. If you speak two languages, you're bilingual. If you speak one language, you're American. -Author Unknown}

So I've been a pretty good mood with spring break fast approaching. However, there is always that friend ready to bring you down. This "friend" is a constant B (I don't want to swear). Today, she's bragging about her spring break trip, a roadtrip in an RV. I told her that so far my only spring break plans are spending the weekend at Skylar's. She's like mine's still better. I told her that I'm sure both of ours will be great. She replies you really think yours will be better than mine? ha. I was done talking to her.

Then I posted a quote on facebook that you see at the top just like that. Then same friend writes that's a quote so wow you're plagarizing. I'm in like that wow really mood. I do believe that if you say author unknown you're giving credit, correct me if I'm wrong.

Why do people have to bring others down? It's a waste of time. There is no need to wallow in misery and to bring others with you! Let others be happy and wallow in your own misery.

Oh My

6:10

You know what's a bad feeling. Knowing that your best friend dumped her boyfriend for you. Plus, now you caused a major fight between the new guy and her. All because he read over her shoulder at a text message. I know that one's not my fault but still. I have no clue how to fix it like absolutely none. She's never going to let me forget this one. I know that

Update

9:58

So today I totally realized I haven't updated in weeks. Lets give the low down here. We played our last basketball game today and we lost (go figure). I've been rehabing my knee which sucks because I'm pretty sure that our trainer loves to see in pain. She's sadistic (right word?). Actually that's an exaggeration, I love our trainer she's awesome. Every crazy moment happens in her room.

I realized that I had an awesome way to express my life during basketball season. You eat, sleep, breath, and socialize thru basketball. You have like no life. I'm a social person but even I struggle...

My parents seem to have been better lately. They aren't so obvious with tension as they were 4 months ago. It's quite nice.

I've been writing a book too. It's called Kaleigh so far after her name, creative I know. It's about a superstar basketball player and a new girl comes to school whose amazing too. Well that's the original plan but it's kind of changing. I'll see where that one goes.

Hmm, is there really more to say? I compeletely bombed a German test. First, all I do is text which is problem one. Two, she put body parts on a sports test. We never learned them. Third, we had to write a dialog completely in German. Yeah, trust me not easy when they had to have 8 sentences with 8 words per sentence. That was ugly.

I really don't think there's much else. This is me signing off!

Blah

8:13

oh the joys of life. skylar confessed thank god! i think its only the beginning for those 2 because there's more there. we've been fighting bout boyfriend but i have a feeling his days are limited. oh darn wait skylar and i agreed not to discuss him. destiny and i have been talking every day lately which is cool. my life has been surrounded by drama but i want them to work out sooo bad. i for some odd reaason have nothing to say tonight. it'll come.

Jeez

4:34

oh it has been a long few weeks. so a friend of mine was suppose to tell this guy how she feels then last second decided to bail. i mean she had decided it a week ago then all week had kept changing her mind and then 10 hours before bailed. i think i have permanent whiplash i swear. now she regrets it all over again and doesn't know what to do. all i can say is acht du lieber (oh my in german).


so this new guy keeps texting me and i'm pretty sure he likes me but i don't know how i feel about him. he kinda liked my best friend first. oh how history repeats itself.

my other best friend basically ended our friendship based on something blown out of proportion. sorry i didn't remember a 5 second conversation when i have more serious issues at hand.

i caught my dad looking up apartments. that was a sock to the gut. i almost retore my acl but luckily its just sprained and i have a bruised tibia. unfortunately i'm done with basketball for the season.

life is just getting in the way again!

Haiti

8:33

A little over a week ago, Haiti was struck by an earthquake of such magnitude. These people are so poor they don't have the money to rebuild. I had been depressed because I might have retorn my ACL, I need to bring up a grade, and my best friend is moving but watching the Hope for Haiti telethon I realize there are bigger problems than my own. How often do we need to be brought back down to earth? My heart is breaking for these people. They remain faithful, strong, hopeful when all seems lost. As humans we can take a lesson from them. We too often give up hope. We need to stay strong. My heart is breaking for them and all I want to do is go there and help. It makes me want to choose a career that can give me that option. People need to be break out of their shell and help. Please help!

There were 2 stories that touched me. The first was of love. This man 6 or 8 days after the earthquake struck, was still at the building where his wife, Janette, had been. He was adament his wife was alive. Sure enough, when firefighters found her, she was very much alive. That shows true love.

The other was a little boy named Manly was in his house with his parents when the earthquake struck. He stayed for 8 days alone in darkness and in rubble because his parents died. The little boy lives and has recieved medical care. That poor little boy!

There are so many orphans and people getting medical treatment which was used in the American Revolution using vodka as an anthestic and a drill instead of a scalpal. Help.

Help.

Help.

Please help.

Lost

7:22

i made a decision today. i thought my best friend was suicidal. she was talking so depressed, more than i had ever heard from her, so i texted her cousin who has been her long time confidant. she was shocked but asked to see the messages so i sent it to her and she said she would talk to their grandma about it. i thought whew! i had helped her. what i didn't know was the parents had been fighting and now the cousin's family wants to put her in the hospital! i didn't mean for that to happen. i thought maybe she would know what to say more than me. i feel horrible. did i do the right thing? i thought i was but now i'm not so sure. i couldn't of seen this coming, not at all. i thought my heart was in the right spot. i mean she's attempted suicide before so i thought i was preventive. maybe i shouldn't of said anything. i'm so confused!

Moments

8:04

a single choice, a single moment, can define the future.

a single fall, can change you forever.

a single opening of the mouth can make or break you.

a single choice can leave you from this earth.

make good choices.

today, my knee gave out during basketball. luckily the acl i had torn and replaced in 7th grade didn't rerip. now i'm in pain. my mother was thinking about something else and almost completely ended up in the ditch.

life is full of moments and choices that can make or break you.

be strong.

be smart.

be decisive.

use these moments for postives so in the future you won't regret.

Happy New Year!

5:09

So i'm sitting here dreading the start of school again. I wish we had 2 weeks off again. It's so nice. But i've been a writing beast. I write best under stress and when i'm emotional. Today i wrote 5 pgs and yesterday i wrote like 2 or 3. Skylars proud.

For Christmas i got my ipod that i wanted. Thank goodness, i have a wide range in music so it's nice to have a place to keep them all.

I feel like i haven't had a break because it has been basketball, basketball, basketball. We got to go to the Dells which was a fun time but that's 3 days right there (it didn't help we stayed up 'til the wee hours of the morning then had to get up in time to leave by 10:30 the next morning including eating, packing, getting ready. With 12 girls and 3 bathrooms, it's not an easy task let me tell you. It didn't help that the 1st night 2 varsity players decided to sleep in our room. I mean that totally screwed up the already tight quarters. We did have a condo that had 3 bedrooms but we still needed the pull outs.

Time flies when you are having fun though. Great memories were made there. Luckily we do that every other year. Next time we do it, we will be seniors. Our varsity won the entire tournament by the way. It topped the cake!

For new years i went and polar beared (for those that don't know it's where you jump into the lake) my mom's family started it in a lake near where we live almost 25 years ago. It's crazy but totally fun.

I love the holidays!